The 4 Unspoken Rules for Leading Meetings People Don’t Hate
- ecmadore2
- Jan 2
- 3 min read
I Sat Through Two Hours of Useless Meetings. The Four Rules I Wrote on a Napkin Changed My Company. Manav Agarwal
Note to Readers: We have all sat through boring, useless meetings. I think these four rules have a lot of value.
Excerpts
The 4 Unspoken Rules for Leading Meetings People Don’t Hate
Rule #1: Start with the Damn “Objective.” (Not the Agenda)
The biggest mistake leaders make is starting with the agenda. An agenda is just a list of topics; it’s a map without a destination.
The Old Way: “Okay team, first on the agenda is a review of the Q3 report…”
The New Way: “Hi everyone. The single objective of this meeting is to decide on our top marketing priority for Q4. By the time we leave in 30 minutes, we will have one clear decision.
See the difference? An objective is a contract with your team. It tells them why they are there and what finish line they are running toward. If you cannot state your meeting’s objective in a single, clear sentence, cancel the meeting.
Rule #2: You Are a Tour Guide, Not a Lecturer.
Stop assuming people will naturally debate or ask insightful questions. They won’t. They are tired, distracted, and thinking about lunch. Hope is not a strategy. As the leader, it is your job to activate the collective intelligence in the room.
The Old Way: “So, here’s my proposal… any thoughts?” (Cue cricket sounds.)
The New Way: “Here’s the proposal. Maria, from your marketing perspective, what’s the biggest risk you see? Matt, from an engineering standpoint, what would you simplify to make this faster?”
Don’t just toss your deck at them and pray. Lead them to where you need insights. Ask direct questions to the right people. You are not hosting a webinar; you are facilitating a high-stakes problem-solving session.
Rule #3: Tailor the Message. Respect Their Time.
Ever been trapped in a meeting where they spend 20 minutes deep-diving into technical logistics… and you’re in design? It’s professional torture. Your team members are not Wikipedia; they don’t need the entire history of the project to contribute.
The Old Way: “Let me walk you through the last six weeks of development…”
The New Way: “Team, I’ve sent out a detailed document with the full project history for your reference. For this meeting, we are focusing only on the three risks I listed on page 11. I’d love your take.”
Guide them like you’re on a tour. Tell them exactly where to look and what you need from them. This is even more critical for async meetings. A 20-page document sent without guidance is a document that will not be read. A 5-minute video saying, “Focus on page 6,” is a document that gets results.
Rule #4: Ban the Question, “Any Questions?”
This is the laziest question in corporate history. It’s not an invitation for feedback; it’s a signal that you’re done talking and want to end the meeting. It assumes everyone understood everything and agrees completely.
The Old Way: “So… any questions or comments?”
The New Way: “What is one thing about this plan that is currently unclear?” or “What is one potential problem with this approach that we haven’t discussed?”
These questions don’t ask if there are problems; they assume there are. They give people permission to be critical thinkers, not just passive listeners. They make people think, and that is the entire point of bringing them together.
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